Happy Friday to everyone and greetings from a windblown New Jersey. It’s that fun time of year out here where it’s 72 during the day and somehow goes down to the mid thirties at night. Crazy weather patterns in the atmosphere. We’re only three weeks away from Thanksgiving. I’m not ready yet. I refuse to believe 10 months of the year have passed already. It still seems like it should be about mid-April. More importantly, we only have another five weeks of regular season action in the Twin Cities. Wow. Let’s see how everyone is doing. To the recaps.
WEEK 8 RECAPS
Apache Chief 94.22
Celo eeks out a victory as Zach Miller gets the necessary points to move Brainiac to a surprising 4-4 on the season. It was yet another tough loss for the commish, who just cannot seem to get his clicking together during the dame week. He’s 1-7.
Green Lantern 103.74
A beating is administered by the green lanterns. Aaron Rodgers and Jordan Howard (who?) had mammoth days for Chris and he improves to 5-3. Kev drops to 6-2 but is still buoyed by those early wins.
FC Aquaman 94.20
Jorge’s league leaders do it again as they knock off the high powered huntress. Drew Brees and the Denver defense were the standouts for him as he moves to 7-1 and is comfortably at the top of the heap. A tough loss for Jill as she drops to that large group at 4-4.
The Toxic Avenger 94.62
Plastic Man 61.70
An easy win for the avengers as they good days from Elliott and Palmer to pace them a=to a victory and move them up to third place. Mike was too busy dressing like Jimmy Chitwood for Halloween (and he looked spectacular by the way) to sub in a QB for the injured Big Ben.
Flash with huge days from Brady, Riddick and Crowder to coast to a surprisingly easy win over the tough Darkseid. Danny moves up to 4-4 and is squarely back in the hunt, while Darkseid drops to 5-3 and is currently somehow on the outside looking in.
Captain Atom 97.02
Running backs rule the day as Forte and Bernard do the job for Jose’s team who improves to 2-6. Todd got tons of garbage points from Blake Bortles but not enough support as Superman takes up residence in the Twin Cities cellar.
THE POOBAH SPEAKS
FOUR MORE DAYS! FOUR MORE DAYS!
Our long national nightmare is almost over. The Poobah simply cannot stand any more of this shit. I am just so weakened and broken down from all of this shit. I still can’t tell you what either of these people will do as President other than the fact that the other person is a dick/bitch/take your pick. And not only are the two candidates absolutely and relentlessly negative. If you ever dip your toes into the Facebook swamp (and The Poobah does from time to time) and you will be just inundated with bullshit and nonsense. I don’t think I’ve seen one “pro” post for anyone. Instead I see things #pussygrabber and #draintheswamp and other crap. There are no issues to discuss, no policies. Just pure, unadulterated hatred. It’s disgusting.
If there’s one group who’s VERY concerned about an issue it’s our pals at the St. Agnes parish in Rockville Centre. They sent out a message to their parishoners last week that essentially, they should only vote for candidates that are pro-life and therefore, would lead the country in the right direction (Hey Danny, was this the proper usage of the Oxford Comma, or a run on sentence, you grammar Nazi bastard?). Can you believe the fucking nerve of these people? It’s tough to get a letter from good old Father Murphy, who has covered up for fucking child molesters, telling anyone about the sanctity of life and who will protect the children. Get lost you fucking hack.
The worst thing about this is that this won’t stop. If Trump wins, you’ll have a cottage industry of people critiquing his every move for four years. If Hillary wins, you’ll have a cottage industry of people saying she should be thrown in jail for the next four years. That is, until they’re done saying the election was fucking rigged. And then this whole thing will kick in again before you know it. Jesus. BOOOOOOOOOO
CHARLIE BROWN FINALLY KICKS THE BALL
Another long standing national nightmare is now finally over. The Cubs have won the World Series after 108 years. It was, by all accounts a thrilling game. Cleveland came back from a 6-3 deficit in the eighth inning to tie the game, sending the crowd into some sort of rapture. Then there was a rain delay after the ninth inning. Finally you had the Cubs winning in 10 innings, but not until the Indians made it exciting with a run and still had a guy on base. The Poobah would love to say that he was riveted by the action and was transfixed by the Cubs breaking their century long championship drought. The reality is that The Poobah was nestled in bed around the top of the seventh inning. Sorry folks. I’m old and I get up at 5AM. I can’t be sitting there watching two teams I don’t care about playing baseball until after midnight. I’m a bad sports fan, I know. But regardless, a great series and a triumph for baseball in 2016.
But there’s something very gratifying to see people who haven’t seen a championship being just so genuinely overjoyed. I’m not talking about all the twenty somethings who were standing and celebrating while taking selfies outside Wrigley Field on Wednesday night that started rooting for the Cubs last year, I mean the real Chicago Cubs diehards. Like the older man who drove down to a North Carolina cemetery so he could listen to Game 7 next to his dad’s grave because that was their pact before he passed away…that they would listen to the Cubs in the World Series as father and son. Kind of creepy, but very heartwarming as well. It’s cool to see the walls of Wrigley Field being used as a mural that people can write names of their relatives who didn’t live long enough to see the Cubs win. Great stuff.
So what happens now with the Cubs? What is their identity moving forward now that they’re no longer the lovable losers with all the celebrity fans? Will anyone care about them anymore now that the romanticism of never having won isn’t hanging over their heads? I have no clue…I haven’t followed baseball since the Yankees were eliminated from playoff contention in early March. HA! Until next season, baseball.
Besides the Patriots, where are the good football teams? The whole league seems to stink this year. Hey the Broncos are great! They’re the defending champs! Now we realize they have no offense and they’re shaky. Hey the Vikings are great! That D is killer! Now we see that Sam Fucking Bradford is their quarterback and they’re shaky. It’s a testament to that group of asshats in New England that they’re solid every single friggin year. What an organization. And this week they decide to trade Jamie Collins, perhaps their best defensive player. Just totally and completely out of the blue. If the Giants did this I would be apoplectic. But let’s be honest, Belichick has a way of getting the most out of anyone who’s ever played for him. Think about all the “stars” the Pats have had and if they’ve had any success once they’ve left. Players or coaches for that matter. I can’t think of one. Not one. And they’re going to romp to another championship in February. I hate them.
Such a shame about those cops being killed in Iowa earlier this week. According to The Poobah’s Facebook feed, it really shows there’s a war on cops and blue lives matter and once Trump is in office things like this will stop and how did these thugs get guns and drain the swamp and this is what happens when Obama pits blacks against whites. And then it came out that the suspect is a white guy who carries around Confederate flags and all that Facebook chatter absolutely stopped fucking dead in its tracks. Meanwhile, these two guys are tragically still dead and their families continue to grieve, but no one seems to care anymore. Funny (and by “funny” I mean “pathetic”) how that happens.
They’re still trying to find out what happened to Amelia Earhart? Can’t we just let it go? The latest from this week is that she didn’t die in a plane crash but that she died as a castaway. How long ago did this whole thing go down? 75 years ago? It’s unseemly that people are still so earnestly trying to figure this out. Do we need to know her daily routine on Gilligan’s Island as she starved to death? I don’t get it.
The Poobah spends a lot of time in the Poobahmobile. A LOT. Like 3+ hours per day. So a lot of time is spent listening to the traffic reports to help determine the best way to drive. Should I go through Manhattan? Or the Bronx? Or Brooklyn? Lots of options there so WCBS and WINS are in heavy rotation. The commercials that run on these stations is utterly amazing. Just taking stock of the last week there have been spots for what I think would be every hospital in the metro area (Mt Sinai, Winthrop, NYU, Hospital for Special Surgery, Lenox Hill, South Nassau and countless others). There have been spots for making sure you pick out a cemetery plot so you don’t addle your family with that decision. There have been spots for the new show “Kevin Can Wait”. There have been spots for some companies that will help you get out of time shares. There have been spots for companies that help with affordable term life insurance, even if you have heart problems or diabetes. There have even been spots for some company that creates ready to eat canned meals that will help you and your family survive in case of a food riot. Holy crap. Who the fuck are their listeners? Wait, I listen. DAMMIT
Littlest Poobah is a musical little man. He can pretty much hum any song by heart after hearing it once. He plays drums in a damn band for God’s sake. We’re in the kitchen Wednesday and he says “What’s that terrible song that we heard that time?” So I put the song in question on the old Spotify. “Never Gonna Give You Up” by the great, great Rick Astley. I’ve said it before, it’s the worst album (by far) that The Poobah ever spent money on. Just wretched. And don’t you know that as he sat there doing his homework and I sat there doing my thing that I left the entirety of the album on? And we sat there and listened to it all? Child Services would be well within their rights to stuff me in a barrel and dump it in the middle of Long Island Sound. Just atrocious parenting.
The economic markets just make no sense to a simpleton like The Poobah. This week, Facebook says it made billions this quarter, just explosive and ridiculous growth. And they say that we shouldn’t expect these crazy numbers to continue, as they’re not going to put even more ads on Facebook. Stock gets crushed. Oil prices go up and people wind up not being able to buy other things because they’re spending so much on gas. Markets gets crushed. Oil prices go down and people get worried that other prices will follow and markets gets crushed. None of this makes sense to me.
Did you know the Giants haven’t beaten the Eagles in over three calendar years? Three years! October of 2013. That’s awful and it desperately needs to change on Sunday. If the Giants want to continue to have meaningful games this year, they must win Sunday. God, I fucking hate the Eagles. VAMOS!!!!!!!
Folks, I got countless letters this week asking about who I’m voting for on Tuesday. I understand it’s a big election and all and there are a lot of curious dogs. Well, wonder no more, everyone!
SONGS FROM THE POOBAH’S SPOTIFY
Never Gonna Give You Up – Rick Astley
Whenever You Need Somebody – Rick Astley
Together Forever – Rick Astley
It Would Take A Strong Strong Man – Rick Astley
The Love Has Gone – Rick Astley
Don’t Say Goodbye – Rick Astley
Slipping Away – Rick Astley
No More Looking For Love – Rick Astley
You Move Me – Rick Astley
When I Fall In Love- Rick Astley
- FC Aquaman (7-1) Gracefully crushing everyone
- The Toxic Avenger (5-3) Hanging tough
- Batman (6-2) Still in it for now
- Green Lantern (5-3) Coming on strong
- Darkseid (5-3) Still dangerous
- Apache Chief (5-3) Good scores masking some issues
- Huntress (4-4) Silenced by Aquaman in Week 8
- Shazam (5-3) Needs to plug some holes
- Flash (4-4) It’s a marathon, not a sprint
- Brainiac (4-4) Smartly knocks off the catwomen
- Captain Atom (3-5) Looked mighty tall last week
- Catwomen (1-7) Have moved from sad to just disappointing
- Plastic Man (1-7) Jury’s not split on his performance
- Superman (1-7) Laboring to the end of the season
WEEK 9 AT A GLANCE
While splitting some turkey chili with Maggie and Conor last night, the following picks were made:
Daddy survives by two points
Darkseid prolongs Catwomen’s agony
Green Lantern over Brainiac
Aquaman over Batman in the game of the week
Mitchell keeps winning
Captain Atom in a barnburner over Flash
Superman finally gets back in the win column
LAST WEEK : 6-1